Watch this! Skip your next shower if you have to! I’m serious.

My heart beating fast in my chest, I shared it with all the women in my life who have inspired me and whose success I care about a great deal.

A few days later, K, a close friend from high school, emailed me to say that the message had been a timely one. K is currently working in a school as a speech pathologist after earning her master’s degree from NYU.  Her boss had called her into a meeting this week and offered her a new, salaried position in the school. The downside: the job pays 20% less than her current income.

The boss told K that the opportunity would be a smart one for her to take, not because it would be a step forward in her career, but because K would have more flexibility when she had babies, which was arguably on the horizon. K is not pregnant, nor is she planning to have children anytime soon (she clearly articulated this four separate times in the conversation).

After considering all the pros and cons of the offer and negotiating a bit, K said, “Thank you, but I don’t need the benefits that come with the position, so it would be a net loss for me to take a pay cut for this new position. I’ve also had two job offers in the past six months, and the salary compensation for this role with my level of experience is much higher than what you’re proposing.” End of story.

Except that K’s boss didn’t drop the having babies conversation–and argued that she really needed to think about how she was going to take care of her yet-to-be-a-twinkle-in-the-eye children and afford them. K was absolutely dumbfounded. And naturally, she wonders if the conversation about the new offer, children aside, would have gone anything like it did if K were a guy.

The boss’s argument is based on the assumption that women like K have to make sacrifices in their career choices when they have children (of course they’ll have children! and hurry, they’re coming soon!). Consequently, they should hedge their bets and “leave before they leave” to ensure that they can provide adequately for their families. I’m proud of K for reading the situation clearly and saying what she did. It’s disheartening that she had to experience such a ridiculous argument to accept an offer that’s clearly not in her best interests.

Sheryl’s TED talk was intended primarily for an audience of women aspiring to C-level positions, but what struck me most was this point: we must think about the messages we tell ourselves and the messages we tell the women that work with and for us. K’s boss is a woman. She’s bought into and built a glass ceiling that need not exist. Though I hope many of my female coworkers and friends will work in C-level positions and positively influence decision-making in business, politics, and the nonprofit sector, we don’t all have to be in the numbers at the top to change the numbers at the top. And many of us will have opportunities to change those numbers as we’re on our way up.

Flickr photo courtesy of paurian

I was recently encouraged to invest some energies in developing my personal brand. A fair challenge, because as a person working in the online marketing industry, personal branding is an important tactic used to set yourself apart from the competition, build your network, and attract the right people to you.

What people really mean when they talk about personal branding is the management and marketing of that brand, or making public (on the internet) what other people might say about you. It’s like selling the answer to the question, “Who am I and what do I want to be known for?” And the “new” rules of marketing and PR say that it’s not about you, it’s about the value and resources you provide, the problem you solve, the client or user-centrism you exude.

This is not, of course, a new idea, but since Tom Peters kicked off the Me, Inc. discussion a little over a decade ago, we’ve become obsessed by the online identity management movement. And it’s certainly one and often effective way to navigate the world. However, the question of whether or not to “be” a personal brand assumes that the goal is to position and sell oneself most effectively in the marketplace of ideas and expertise. So is that really the question? If it is, being a personal brand becomes a lifestyle sustained by a number of specific behaviors (blogging at least once per week on your topic of expertise, re-tweeting articles of interest to your network) which are not at the top of everyone’s priority list. Alf Rhen has written another interesting, somewhat irreverent critique of the personal branding lifestyle here.

In a fit of irony, I wondered:

Who has personally branded him/herself as the expert on personal branding?

According to Google, the person doing the best job of this is Dan Schwabel of the Personal Branding Blog. (Also of interest is the #2 spot on Google’s first page, the Wikipedia article on “Personal Branding,” which suggests that a great many people may be trying to figure out just what the heck personal branding is all about and how to get started on building their own.)

I’m immediately skeptical of and put off by Dan’s claim that he will navigate ME to future success, for exactly the reasons that personal branding claims be so powerful. His tagline is less about the value his expertise provides to me than about his ability to navigate me there. As someone thinking about how to develop a personal brand with integrity, I’m not interested in the sales pitch. I’m interested in knowing how this person might be a resource to me in figuring out how to build my brand online. The takeaway: it’s best to learn about personal branding from people you admire and respect than from the self-proclaimed expert.

With all the buzz about personal branding and the value it adds to organizations, you might be tempted to think that the absence of a personal branding campaign is akin to having a perpetual identity crisis. But I have a personal brand, and if you’re human, so do you. If you talk to my friends and coworkers, they’ll tell you that I am genuine, deeply engaged, and thoughtful. I learn quickly, synthesize and organize information well, and maintain open communication. I work well independently and collaboratively, and I’m passionate about pursuing excellence. These qualities characterize all of my interactions, whether they be in social media, on the phone, or face-to-face. And a brand management campaign is not the only way to demonstrate the value I provide to individuals, groups, and organizations with my people and communication skills.

The question of who you are and what you want to be known for is a good one, and worth thinking about long and hard. Professionally, and personally, over the short and long terms, asking this question can help you to make good and wise decisions. (It’s also a good idea to check in to see if what other people think of you is in line with what you think of you, as our perceptions of ourselves tend to be slightly skewed.) This is an excellent starting point for thinking about personal branding. Asking the follow-up question, whether selling and marketing your brand online is the best way to invest your energies, bears consideration as well.

I suppose that brands me a skeptical advocate of the personal branding movement. What are your favorite personal branding resources? Whose personal branding efforts do you admire?

Someone in my house brought home the October edition of the Food Network Magazine from the free table at work.  As part of a household whose inhabitants are rather serious about food, she thoughtfully left it on the kitchen table for thumbing through while waiting for water to boil, sauces to simmer, fish to bake, etc.

This morning I happened across a a savory-looking recipe for apple cider donuts, a helpful article on how to butcher a chicken, and then, on page 87, something quite horrific.  Melissa d’Arabian (who, I learned,  was this summer’s Next Food Network Star and now has her own show, Ten Dollar Dinners) had been issued a challenge to create several kid-friendly recipes that were both nutritious and cheap.  She rose to it and delivered.  But what the author found particularly impressive was how this accomplished woman has applied her degree:

Melissa has an MBA from Georgetown University, and she recently slashed the household bills for her husband, Phillipe, and their four daughters by more than half, to $175 a week.  ’If you saw my coupon binder, you’d be floored,’ she says.

If only more American women had the opportunity to enroll in an MBA program from a distinguished university so that they too could cut their household bills in two!

And what a shame — a missed opportunity for a brilliant article on the feminine mesquite.

Now, I’m no california girl, nor did I ride my little deuce coup down to the esplanade this evening, but God only knows there is something marvelous about a rock band putting on a good live show almost 50 years after the release of one of the greatest albums of all time. The marvelocity of it must have extended into the evening because as I write this, my neighbor’s television speakers swell with the opening chords of Paul McCartney’s favorite song (so I hear).

Pet Sounds : Sgt. Pepper as Hatch Shell : Fenway, apparently, as Paul (he never was one to be outdone) is playing two shows in a couple of weeks. Wouldn’t it be nice to go, and wouldn’t it be nicer to be older and to recall childhood memories of Shea Stadium, jelly babies, and outright mania.

Step 1: Determine what the DMV requires as proof of citizenship and identity.  

Here’s what DMV.org says:

• Social Security card
• Proof of D.O.B.
• Proof of Massachusetts residency
• Proof of signature 

Proof of signature?  I gather what they mean, but it sounds amusingly like the offline version of ‘confirm your password.’  Here’s how we imagine the directive:

“Yes, could you please sign here next to the ‘X’?  Thank you, and then please sign again on the line just below so we can confirm that the two signatures match.”

Step 2: Locate a DMV office

The most convenient location is the Cambridge Armory.  However, it might be difficult to find a convenient time to stop in:

what do these people get paid?

Do they make it this hard in every state?

For her and for many women I know, a bit of internal struggle inevitably enters the transaction when it comes to this particular brand.  Do the benefits of buying something comfortable outweigh the implicit endorsement of such gross malfeasance? The requisite screenshot has been omitted lest this should happen to me.

Comments ensued.  A few of my favorites:

• Upon discovering that the beloved, basic, no-frills version was no longer to be found without satin bows attached: “What?!  Bows?!  I AM NOT A PRESENT TO BE UNWRAPPED!!!”
• Re: a “scoopneck” version of the product, which claims to boost but (never fear) won’t peek out of low cut tops: “If you’re worried about peeking out, I’m going to have to say that the problem is not with your undergarment, but rather with YOUR SHIRT!
• Candid astonishment and horror at the following classifications:

Level 1: Subtle Lift
Level 2: Moderate Lift
Level 3: Dramatic Lift
Level 4: Extreme Lift 
Level 5: Ultimate Lift 

Needless to say, some of the (many) reasons I appreciate her.

One of the greatest comedic sketches of all time. Masters of their craft.  Timing is everything.  Kudos to the animator!